


Come Meet My Eyes One Moment More

by Spacecadet72



Category: Knives Out (2019)
Genre: F/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:26:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22919176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spacecadet72/pseuds/Spacecadet72
Summary: Marta remembers the night of Harlan's death, and Benoit is there to comfort her.
Relationships: Benoit Blanc/Marta Cabrera
Comments: 14
Kudos: 67





	Come Meet My Eyes One Moment More

**Author's Note:**

> A lot of my early stories have one word titles because titles suck, and I actually have two stories with the title "Nightmares" in two different fandoms. I did consider completing the set by using the same title for this, but figured that would just confuse me later. :D (It wasn't until later that I started stealing from song lyrics for titles.)
> 
> The title comes from the song Only Love from the Scarlet Pimpernel musical.

Marta stood in the doorway to the upstairs office, eyes wide as she watched, almost as if in slow motion, as Harlan Thrombey slit his throat and took his own life. Her hands flew to her mouth as tears streamed down her face and she fought the urge to vomit, a wave of nausea crashing over her. 

She heard the knife clatter to the floor and knew that she had been the reason a dear friend was now dead, and had watched him pay for her mistake in the most horrible way possible. 

Slowly, her breathing calmed, and her hands fell from her mouth as she took in a deep breath. She opened her eyes, not wanting to see him, but knowing it was part of her atonement to see what she had done. 

Only, when she opened her eyes, it wasn't Harlan's body in front of her, but Benoit's. His manner of death was the same as Harlan's and she felt the tears start all over again knowing that she had somehow caused Benoit's death as well. How had it happened? When had she become a murderer, dooming both these men she loved?

"Marta? Marta!" 

She jerked awake, without any idea of where she was or who was standing over her. She thrashed around until the lamp turned on and she could see Benoit's face hovering over her, worry lining his features. 

"Dear girl," he said, keeping his voice low and measured. "You were screaming, I think you were having a nightmare. You're alright. You're safe." 

Marta shook her head, feeling the tears on her cheeks. It had all seemed so real. "It was you," was all she could get out, her words gasping as she struggled for breath. 

"What was?" he asked, settling next to her on the bed and keeping his voice smooth and low. "I'm right here." 

"I saw Harlan, but then when I looked back, it was you. I had killed you too and I couldn't--" Why couldn't she breathe? All she could see was both Harlan and Benoit's bodies and she couldn't seem to focus on anything else.

"Marta," Benoit said, his voice firm, sharp, which drew her attention to him. "I want you to copy my breathing, alright? We're just going to breathe." 

Marta nodded, not quite sure what was happening, but followed along with his exaggerated breathing, taking in deep breaths and letting them out slowly. After several moments, several breaths, the world seemed to calm somewhat. 

"There we go, now. You're safe. I'm safe. Everything's fine," he said, reaching up to smooth her hair back and Marta leaned into the contact. 

"I'm sorry for waking you," she said, looking down. She had managed to keep her nightmares hidden from everyone else, and had hoped that with Benoit visiting, she could continue to deal with them herself. She hadn't wanted him to be burdened by her issues. 

"I heard you screaming," he said, sympathy but no pity in his eyes. "You don't have to worry about waking me. I'm glad I was here to help." 

Marta knew that after what she had gone through that there was no shame in this kind of reaction, but that didn't stop the guilt and embarrassment from coming for her. She could avoid the memories during the day when there were things to do and she could focus on other people, on other tasks. At night, however, with no distractions, they came for her. Not every night, but enough to keep the bags under her eyes visible. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, his thumb rubbing against her arm and the touch was soothing and anchoring. She nodded and gestured for him to get comfortable on the bed. He settled next to her, both of them leaning against the headboard, and he wrapped his arm around her so she could lean against him. He began stroking her hair and she thought she could just stay there forever. 

But she had said she wanted to talk. She began, her voice shaky. "I was back in the upstairs office with Harlan, on the night of his death," she said, remembering that horrible night and everything that had come from it. "He killed himself, like he did that night, and I closed my eyes and when I opened them it wasn't Harlan's body, but yours." 

"Oh, Marta," he breathed out, and her eyes fluttered shut at the sound of his voice.

She nodded, eyes still shut. "I had caused your death too, not just Harlan's and I couldn't--" her eyes flew open as she tried to get the image of both of them out of her mind. "I couldn't handle killing you too." 

"We've established you're a lousy murderer," he said, a hint of humor in his voice. "You didn't kill anyone and I'm right here." 

"I know, I know it's just my mind playing tricks, but it seemed so real." 

"The brain is a tricky thing," he said, sounding thoughtful, but sad. "It can do so much, but it brings us these visions to haunt us." 

"You get them too?" she asked, looking up at him. She hadn't really thought he had been affected. He saw these sorts of things all the time, she hadn't stopped to think of the horrors he must face. 

He nodded. "Oh, yes." 

"About this case?" she asked, her voice quiet and small. 

He nodded again. "I see you and Ransom, but he picked a real knife." 

Her mouth formed a silent "oh", at the revelation and the pain in his voice. "I see that too sometimes,” she admitted, thinking how she felt the knife cut through her in her dreams. “But I'm here too," she said, leaning in closer to him, needing to feel that he was real, needing him to feel the same of her. 

"I know, sweetheart," he said, and she smiled at the endearment. Only a week earlier they had realized they both had feelings for each other and were still figuring out what that meant for them. She was glad late night cuddles after nightmares was something they could do now. 

"We're both here and safe," he said, turning to press a kiss to her hair. "Do you think you can sleep?"

She nodded, but looked up at him again. "Would you stay?" 

"Of course." 

She scooted over so he could get under the covers and wrap his arms more fully around her. Once they were lying down and settled, her head against his heart, she closed her eyes and waited for sleep to come. 

Benoit began humming softly, a slow, romantic tune, his hand still stroking her hair. He wasn't much of a singer, but there was something comforting about his voice. 

"What are you humming?" she asked, turning her head so she could look at him. 

"Oh, just a song from a musical. I've had it on my mind lately." 

"Will you sing it to me?" she asked. 

He began to sing softly, something about love and not being afraid. She wasn't sure what the story was, but it seemed to fit them well enough in that moment. 

As he continued the song, her breathing slowing to match the rise and fall of his chest, she felt sleep overtake her, a calm easing her way into sleep that she hadn't had in a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> The song Benoit sings is from one of my favorite broadway musicals, The Scarlet Pimpernel, which premiered in the 90s. It's also the song that inspired the title for this one shot, Only Love. The musical is about a man who pretends to buffoonery to mask how smart he is so he can save people, among other plot-y things, which I think would appeal to Benoit. :D I also feel like it would apply to both Marta and Benoit before they confess how they feel.


End file.
